At this point I’m barely standing as fatigue starts to take hold. Diamond’s set should be done by now. She’ll be looking for me. She won’t find me inside though. Instead I’m outside in the concrete parking lot, in the cold, with my arms hanging uselessly at my side as Alec pins me to the fence about thirty or so feet from the back entrance to the strip club expressing his great displeasure with me dating his ex-girlfriend. Right now he wants to know why I’m with her.
The words slip from my mouth without a thought. "It's her eyes.”
Alec holds a fistful of my shirt ignoring any qualms people normally have about personal space. At least his breath is not overwhelming making me thankful that a toothbrush is part of his daily hygiene. The fact, however, that I can hardly breathe as he keeps me in a strangle-hold makes it a moot point. I can barely fill my lungs let alone inhale any alcoholic fumes that might be escaping from his mouth as he screams into my face.
"What ‘d you say?"
The anger in Alec's voice physically manifested itself in the bulge that is his beefy sportsman neck. The veins appearing like a latticework of chaotic crossroads. Alec isn’t playing football anymore, but he still keeps a jock physique.
I manage to gasp the words again. "H-her eyes." I’ve given him what I think is a legitimate, and might I add truthful, answer. I can tell it isn't to his satisfaction when I feel him slam me repeatedly against the fence causing the metal to pinch my back painfully. I look ruefully past Alec to my jacket lying on the ground wishing to be in it right now. We’ve been at this for some time now, and it would be useful in not only absorbing some of this impact, but also keeping me warm.
"Bullshit, her eyes?” He turns his head to the side and spits then brings his rage full force back to me. His looked incredulous, and surprisingly, angrier. “"You stole my girl because of her eyes. Do you think I'm stupid?"
My breathless response tumbles out. “You didn’t see her or her dreams. She wasn’t going to stay with you.” The quick response throws him off and he loosens his grip. I take this opportunity for a deep inhale before continuing. “She doesn’t want you. I didn’t have to take her from you, she was already looking for someone else.”
I fight a smile. A poor attempt as one edge of my mouth twitches up in a small grin. Alec doesn’t like that, and he recovers from his shock. I suffer the consequences of my words as his fist sinks into my stomach sending the newly replenished air in my lungs sailing right back out into the night sky as a cloud of vapors. I guess he thinks my swelling face deserves a break as he starts working my lower body. I take the grunt of it as I consider my predicament, and him. It's not that I think he's stupid. I know he is, and I’m also too foolish to withhold the truth. I hate to play the stereotypical jock card, but he needs to look past his muscles and really see Diamond.
I close my own eyes in the middle of the pummeling to escape. On my eyelids the movie that plays stars Diamond. She’s in front of me crawling towards me like a lioness and falls into my arms. I watch as she just curls up and forgets about the world. Her eyes looking into mines, peaceful, before she closes them and falls asleep. I’m content just watching her breath, knowing she’s safe. I don’t feel much jealousy anymore because I know her now. I know I can secure her in so many other ways that men at the bar can’t. Alec doesn’t understand that, evident even now, and never will. Like most men, money and brute force are his only answer.
"I never gave you permission to come near her." Alec's direct statement interrupts my thoughts as he brings his fist crashing into my torso so hard that it causes me to double over in pain this time. I go to fall, gasping once more for air. His fists twists into my shirt and catches me mid-drop. Now is the moment I want to pass out. I want to welcome the blackness that would engulf me and numb the feeling of his knuckles against my aching body. It never comes.
"Answer me you little turd!" Alec bellows, but I remain silent leaning into the strength of his arm to keep me up. The sound of his voice is louder and clearer than I want it to be; all the more proof that I will remain far too conscious during this ordeal. To make matters worse he proceeds to shake me violently making my brain feel like the last bit of icy liquid in the bottom of a 7-Eleven Slurpee cup.
I don't understand why he can't see she doesn't love him. She has no intention of being a stripper forever, but he’s stuck with this idea of her, something pretty to show off like jewelry. She can’t grow past that image with him. Soon she’ll graduate with her business degree and he’ll be a fun story she can share with her kids about her rebellious youth. Diamond will never go back to him. So I choose to remain silent this time in response. He lets me go and I fall feebly, my legs no longer able to hold me up. As I hit the ground I fortunately stay aware and just barely manage to cover myself as he proceeds to send his size thirteen sneaker towards my face.
Primal instincts take over in the next few moments as I fight to stay alive. My arms going up defensively to cover my face as his kicks shake my frame to the very core. I'm able to peek out between my fingers and just make out Alec placing his hands on the fence as he stands over me re-doubling his efforts to pummel me into submission. The anger in his face is blind fury, like an animal hurt. He doesn't think far beyond the physical or monetary because they are easy answers for him. A methodical or heartfelt approach would be asking too much. This physical display is his last ditch effort to get me to leave. He wants to beat his will into me. Get me to bend to it. Scare me into doing what he wants with fear alone. It's this thought process that cost him in the first place.
Diamond enjoys thrills, but knows she wants more. Alec is a thrill, a pile of muscles that she enjoys ogling, but he doesn’t provide much else. He doesn’t stimulate her mentally like me. Alec will have to accept that there’s someone else. I doubt his reasoning abilities, however, as the toe of one of his shoes sinks into my arm again. The hit is solid and almost makes it all the way through. In the next moment I note the flavor of blood in my mouth. At this point my survival instinct evolves and I curl into a tight fetal position awaiting the next barrage of hits.
Just as I hear his foot lift from the gravel and prepare for the next kick Diamond calls out.
"Alec!" Diamond’s voice is like a beacon and I use it as a lighthouse in my fog of pain. "Alec stop it!"
I can hear the audible hesitation as Alec drops his foot back to the ground and pushes off the fence. I lower my hands slightly, and watch as he turns towards Diamond as she approaches from the club. His breath leaves his mouth in heavy and jagged puffs as he recovers from the exertion.
"Alec, I told you not to come here anymore." She peeks around him and spots me on the ground. Her hands go to cover her mouth immediately, and a sob escapes, then she looks back to Alec. "What have you done?"
She rushes to me and I feel safe enough to lower my defenses completely as Diamond gathers my head up in her arms and places it in the lap of the long trench coat she’s wearing. Her eyes well up with tears and as they begin to fall they feel like soothing raindrops against my aching face.
"I told you we were through Alec," She says, her sobs having no affect on the strength of her words. Her voice is sharp and clear and Alec takes note. He looks unsure of himself now as the single-minded determination of beating me into submission evaporates.
He raises a hand in my direction clearly upset. "But babe, you're leaving me for him?” I want to scoff at him for the disbelief in his voice, but I'm afraid of the pain inhaling too deeply will cause.
"Alec, I left you weeks ago. I’ve been telling you I was unhappy," Diamond replies, wiping her tears. She stands up, balancing herself carefully on her six-inch stilettos as she squats down and gathers my weight across her shoulders and we stand up together. She takes another look at me then gives him a cold stare. “You didn’t want to see that we were over. I won't tell you again, stay away or next time I’ll call the cops."
Alec looks like a chastised child as his feet shuffle on the rocks and dirt below. Diamond braces herself then stands up with all my weight leaning across her shoulders. She pulls me in a direction I’m not ready for too quickly, and I inhale sharply between my teeth. She looks to me apologetically. Her eyes are full of concern.
"Are you ok?" She asks. I don't like the look of worry so I want to tell her I'm fine, it’ll be ok, but all I can manage is a weak nod. She succeeds in straightening me out as much as she can, most of my weight bearing down on her small frame, then she looks back to Alec as we prepare to leave.
"Alec, I'll get a restraining order if necessary, but this is senior year for all of us," She says, her stance is Amazonian in kind as she talks while my body hangs from her neck like some skinned human scarf. I almost want to tell her forget it, he'll never change, but I know this is something she needs to do. She wants to let him down easy because she can see he's hurt. Despite her obvious anger her voice softens as she continues. “I need you to understand that we’re over."
His mouth opens slightly like he wants to respond, but she doesn't give him the chance. Something in her face silences him. She studies me briefly once more as if to evaluate if I can move, then looks back to Alec one last time, shaking her head with disgust.
"Come on let's get you home and cleaned up Lionel, " She says to me, readjusting me on her shoulders. With that, we walk away.
That must be the nail in the coffin, because Alec doesn't even try to say anything this time. I watch through the swelling in my eyes as his head falls in defeat. Our progress is slow, and just as we walk past Alec I manage to shift my head in his direction. His eyes flicker up and I can see in them that he’s broken, even a bit apologetic. I lift my hand, an excruciating attempt, and raise my middle finger in his direction. He can sit and twist.
