“Men have killed for
love, gone to war for it, and altered the very view of the world for years to
come. Why should I not build a career on love, it is a great and effective
tool.”
As I continue my journey, now in
the state of California, several things come to mind. The freedom of this state
is one that I am coming to enjoy on several levels. Not in the sense that I am
free to roam (still getting settled unfortunately) but instead I speak of
freedom from the weights and chains that I allowed to hold me back. I consider
the opportunity to explore new cultures, new food, new terrain as well as
exploring a new understanding of love for myself.
I have had an opportunity to delve
deeper in to the depths of my own psyche and test the very word. From continued observation of heterosexuals to enjoying the developing understanding of pansexuals I let simmer and marinate a new recipe of love as I view the world from a new vantage point. How can I express the very thing that gives me
life? How can I reinvent the thing some have grown weary of seeing due to
overexposure? Even more challenging can I do this with my own words effectively
and without restraint exploring the worlds of BDSM until I am satisfied or the effects of true love from a skewed perspective. I seek
words that speak of sensuality that will makes your skin crawl with longing. Words that will create a burning dislike yet calm understanding of a character. I want to create
moments that go beyond the death of star-crossed lovers. Can I do this. The answer is yes. I can with time learn what is necessary.
When my day
arrives I will bleed for love a color so pure that I will put to shame the
reddest of roses on Valentine’s Day. It is a desire I wish to unleash upon the
world, my interest in love. I intend to take this emotion far beyond the simple
romanticizing of dinner by candlelight. I believe in a love so pure that the
ideal couple spends everyday trying to outdo the fantasy of their partner in both small and
grand gestures. It’s funny to think that some will not understand what I’m
trying to express. I cannot imagine one’s life passing without the longing or
feeling of this intense sentiment. A need for balance so strong that it is in the storm of your love that you
find your calm. This love is displayed splendidly in Game of Thrones between Khaleesi and Drogo. It is not the only one that hints at what I am attempting to display but it is one of my favorites. They start as strangers yet she becomes his
compassion and he becomes her strength. In the end he needs her as much as she
needs him:
“You are the moon of my life,
that’s all I know
and all I need to know.
And if this is a dream
I will kill the man who tries to
wake me….” - Drogo (Season 2 Episode 10)
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