New Horizons

So I've been working on the first chapter for my story blog Story of L and I have neglected a few things along the way. Okay so some of that time was spent being idle,being occupied by other things, and letting the story stew in my head but give me a break this is a new venture. Basically what I'm doing is piecing together the outcome of a story that is about to be left exposed to the public as my first attempt at writing a full length book. How this will go how the book will be recieved, and if I can live up to my own expectations as a writer all rest on this venture. I will be participating in many others along the way (with some helpful scheduling) but this one will be my main focus.

I don't know how this will go but so far I am anticipating good things. I'm hoping anyone that is following this blog will take a look at my Sample Works page and link to my other blog. There they can follow the story with me as well as comment and give me feedback. I want to know what the reader is thinking so I am requesting a call to arms. All your reading experience and writing experience is what I am asking to bring to the table. I will be attempting to make adjustements in the way I write so as to hopefully create something that leaves the reader wanting more and providing writing that is not confusing or hard to follow. As I finish the first chapter I look forward to your feedback.

Addicted by Zane **(Some spoilers)**

** If you plan on reading this book please don't continue, you've been warned

12-22-2012

My recent reading that I just completed is Addicted by Zane. I have several comments to make about this writing and unfortunately none of them are really positive. Now keep in mind I did go into this with expectations so my approach is from a certain state of mind. I didn't just randomly pick up the book to read but went by the suggestion of three people. As a result I did not take into consideration the way the writing would be presented to me. I also was not prepared for the focus to be all over the place as it was which turn to me made me feel out of focus reading it. This may only be a first read but I tend to pay particular attention to the writing of stories especially now.
Mind you I am not speaking down to Zane who has published way more books than myself (of which my count is zero). However, as I read the book a lot of things threw me off. For starters the use of language. I am used to reading the very proper English that one would see in most fiction books. Zane however narrates this book in first person and the character is an African American woman. Realistically I am an African American woman and I think the language of the character goes way over the top to reinforce this (hey I even have black female friends and they don't speak like this). There are flashbacks throughout the book that involve Zoe, or the protagonist, telling the psychiatrist about her past. The language of these flashbacks however seems to spill into her adult speech. Minus a bit more cursing the language of her youth and that of her adult years are practically the same. It makes it hard for me to distinguish the young rough girl and then the established business woman that runs her own company At some point going into business for yourself you have to learn to speak and approach things a certain way but you never see this in the characters speech. She never learns proper speech etiquette in any of her interactions. Maybe there was purpose in this.

I would like to think that maybe Zane intentionally set things up this way. Maybe due to the mental trauma she wanted the older Zoe to seem similar to her younger self. Her speech being a connection to the scars suffered and hidden in her childhood and manifesting themselves as her inability to completely leave her younger habits behind like her speech. Just being inquiring and maybe I'm wrong but I am trying to understand this from a writers point. The reasons this is such a big deal as that even though I know the chapters separate the flashback from the present it gets to a point where the voice is the same throughout that I begin to feel as though I am reading the same person, young or old. In the end I start to lose understanding in where I am seems like young Zoe is talking to me in a scene that is dealing with adult Zoe.

I feel that was enough there so moving on...
Another thing for me is that the story seemed really confused. It couldn't figure out if it was a story about addiction, or a murder mystery, or a thriller, or if it was psyche fiction. The story started out as a background of young Zoe and Jason. It was who Zoe was and how she had established her relationship with her husband Jason. So it was a slow start but it shows us who Jason and Zoe are and all they have been through as she explains to Dr. Marcella. With this start you believe the focus to be how Zoe will fix her relationship with Jason but no. It then shifts to what I can only assume are Zane's trademark sex scenes as we first meet Quinton, Zoe's first addiction. As you read this you think the sex is the main focus, considering the book is called addiction and the character is addicted to sex, but then again it's not. Zoe doesn't really participate in any strong sexual scenes until Quinton. She is married to Jason yes but he isn't providing her with what she needs to satisfy her. So it is more sex deprivation, she feels the lack of intimacy between herself and her husband and seeks fulfillment elsewhere. So you feel you have a better grasp and it is all tying together. Zoe adds to her number of lovers as so she can fulfill different levels of need but only after one lover fucks up. She leaves Quinton for Tyson only after Quinton "cheats" on her with Diamond. Then doesn't chose to mess with Tyson as much as he has a crazy ex that keeps destroying her car and decides to let Diamond eat her out a couple of times. Then goes back to Quinton. So now you think that is great she has her addiction set up but no. While all of this is being sorted out, someone is getting beat brutally in an abusive relationship, another is brutally murdered, and a yet another person turns out to be psychotic.   

In the end I wanted to know more than what was presented because the other characters seemed more interesting than the story  that was being told. You barely meet Diamond, her whole story is brushed  over quickly. Now you are left wondering what were the details of that encounter. Did Zoe go over to see Dempsey and Diamond comes along and tempts her. Zoe just goes with it to see what it is to be eaten out by a girl. Did she return because she liked it. Then there was the brutal killing of Brina, what was her dramatic life like and how did she go such a different path from her friend.  More than anything I almost want to have a whole book written on Dempsey, forget Zoe. This guy has the body of over twelve people buried below his first mural including his brother, sister, father, and step-mother. What happened with him? When did he snap? I stopped asking questions about Zoe. Her character just didn't have a cohesive enough story for me t really care to learn anything about her. When Dempsey started killing more people it started to get interesting there. But again that's just me. I will re-visit this reading again at a later time for now I have said my piece.

The Art of Researching

Researching topics can be a pain in the...well you get the idea. But what I have learned is that researching for your college paper and researching for something you yourself are working on can provide to very different outcomes and responses. During my school semester I had to research the text for the answer my teacher was looking for or at least one that was suitable to answer the questions asked in numerous short essays. After a while it becomes a formulated approach really where you find excellent supporting text applying it to the question and follow up with your own approving statements. Researching like this is no fun. Then there is all the tedious and meticulous documentation that you have to provide when it comes to research papers. To top it all off you have to confirm it is coming from a credible source that has received the stamp of approval via a school of academia. Did I make anyone cringe yet? In turn I find research isn’t always bad for example when it comes to research for my writing.

 

In the Fall of 2011 I attended a class called Theory & Practice of Creative Writing. This class had a segment dedicated to non-fiction writing and we had a guess speaker come into discuss this with us. I apologize but I can’t recall the professor’s name that attended that segment (it is lost somewhere in my pile of notes) but I do remember what she told discussed with the class. Basically her application was that researching for her writing was essential. You can’t talk about a character having a gun and give incorrect information about that gun and expect it to be believable. In fact she ended up researching information about this particular gun she was writing about and found she had it completely wrong. That is something that can destroy me as a credible writer and I want to be credible. So making up information about math and in a book about a mathematician will not come across well when all the geniuses of the mathematical world prove without a doubt that I am making myself look like an ass. Here is where research comes in?

 

“Why research for your writing, why not just write about what you know?”

 

A friend asked me this question once. I have already partially answered this but let us delve further into my response(I love to explain). When I spoke with my friend that day I realized I enjoyed the idea of researching for my writing, as far as gathering the facts and placing them in my story. Write what I know, write what I know? Again I would be placing myself in a box limiting my writing to only things I have experienced. However, like my mind I want to expand my writing I want to go beyond what I know. At the same time when I explore these different arenas I want to approach them with the intelligence needed. In other words I don't want to be the one writing the mathematician story and one of my facts is 2+2= 7. That would reflect poorly on me. I have considered researching a bit of physics for one books, samurais for another, mermaids for a third. Even subjects I know a little bit of I want to know more so that I know that I am creating a story that seems authentic to the reader. At other times I may not be going for authentic, maybe just genuine even in these cases I want to be sure that I am not exaggerating ridiculously in certain areas, at least for now.

I feel research can be vital. Finding facts even and making them tall tales, in a way you are making the story your own. If I am to exaggerate however I want to exaggerate on a sound foundation and not necessarily pull things from thin air.

 

**Side Note: This is in no regards anything to do with the current post however in my earlier eagerness to start this site I had intended to write every day. As time has passed I found I was a little over anxious. Instead my attempts will be two serious blogs a week. Hope you are enjoying so far.

Discussing Titles

I have been asked who I am. No one is bold enough to walk up to me directly and say “Hey, who are you?” but the idea is that in the end people want to feel they understand you. They want to define you. I have been asked this question in regards to who I am as a writer and I have mulled over the question enough times to have a ready answer. I am a fantasy writer who likes a bit of science fiction, looking to shock and awe my audience and be the next big thing in the literary world. It sounds good as if I am sure of where I stand and that I am going places. By doing this I am making it easier for myself to be set up in a pretty little box somewhere with this specific label so that when someone is looking for something in that category they will know to dust off that box open it and just happen to stumble over me.

In truth I am not sure where I stand as far as my writing is concerned and frankly I could care less to know. I guess I am a bit claustrophobic when it comes to my writing but I don’t like being boxed in. Why am I to be told I can write this particular type of writing but not another kind. There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to expand beyond what I know and write a story of such imaginative genius that someone would swear that I experienced what is happening in my writing. I want to achieve ability to not be judged on what I am writing but how it is written. Fantasies, thrillers, science-fiction, romance etc etc, these are all the genres accessible to me and I would love to write a little in each of them. Have them cross over into each other. Then go a step further. Not only limiting myself to books but what about movie scripts, plays, or song lyrics.

It could be the simple fact that I am just being overzealous and in the end planning to take on more than I can handle. When it comes to developing a certain skill the thought might be that you focus on that one thing. In time that one thing becomes your strong point like a basketball player who takes the same shot every day until he can make that same shot under any condition because he know what it takes him to make that shot. That could be it. Maybe I need to fine tune my skills in one area and on one genre until I have it perfected. What then? What happens when I no longer require any further expansion in that area? The result is that I find myself in that same box unable to go anywhere else with my writing. Even if I did attempt to venture out to something else it may not be embraced because I am known so well for one thing. Some may feel that because of this I am incapable of writing in any other area.

The result of this is that no one will consider me for anything more. I will be forever dubbed the fantasy writer if I focus too much in this area but, that is not my only interest. I have not solidified myself as a writer to a point that I can give a satisfactory response to this question of who am I. For now I am exploring different elements and different styles of writing in order to determine that. That is another reason for why this blog is my exploration of writing, my experiment.

Burning the Midnight Oil

So today I felt inspired by the recent insistence of not only my girl who constantly says I procrastinate but also by the grind of Mikestro. Mikestro is the stage name of a fellow creative mind and co-worker that I am familiar with. He is up at the wee  hours of the morning working on his music. Being a local music producer that is involved in the up and coming works of local artists he is attempting to make a name for himself. In this same way I realize I have to make a strong effort to put myself out there more. So with this in mind I have been at this laptop working continously on this page including links now to my own work. As I consider that I am finally putting these items up for public view I become more aware of my dissatisfaction with the work being displayed. Errors become that much more noticeable to me.

What this means is that I will be doing a mass overhaul of of these items and making sure they are well polished for view before I start passing out information about my page to anyone. This is my business card and I need to treat it as such. When I recommend anyone to view my site I want to know that they are viewing A plus work and anything less just won't do. This will be my mission that by the end of December all of my work is up to par with my expectations. So there, I have declared what I will being doing for the next month well before school starts up again.

Concerning Myself with the Small Things

So, turkeys have suffered a large number of casualties, dinners have been cooked, meals and desserts have been eaten, and yet still must I continue to consider my class assignments throughout all of it. To make it even better not only was my mother in town but I found myself sick with fever. Trying to stay focused and write as needed I son realizd was very difficult. My ambition is quelled quite easily when life gets in the way. What does that say about me and my supposed passion about writing? Am I really not destined for the great writing adventure I had anticipated on finding myself to be taking by this time? Is my self-doubt my new excuse? Or is it the knowledge of the increasing number of obstacles in my way that causes me to no longer reach for the stars but instead map and painstakingly plan my slow crawl to success that will only be level with skyscrapers.

It is an unfortunate thing to find oneself not meeting the goals one expected to reach when it comes down to it. Over the years I have accumulated a number of story ideas and even written a few. I have not however pursued any of them at a more serious level. I have yet to have my work published and I struggle more and more each day with the idea of my writing even being worthy to grace the pages of any publication. Even in the class I am currently taking I find my mind unable to produce the desired effect and get ahead. I am only able to reach the minimal and turn in the assignments at the time of the deadline. I was hoping to be ahead, to actually produce the work needed well before it was due. So I finished my article for one content editor two weeks ago in this mock publication of mine. I meant to proof everything and turn it in before Thanksgiving. I finally finished and turned it in today and it is due Tuesday. This is isn’t necessarily terrible but it doesn’t meet my expectations of my own deadline. Now I have a second article to write which is in actuality a short story. I have practically 2 days to do this and proof my work. Now it is time to truly test my writing skills and creativity; let’s see what I have in me.

Writing articles may not be for me

So I have to write an article for my class. Fatigue is a terrible monkey to carry on your back. I think my classmate may detest me at this point because I submitted three different ideas for this group project we are working on. Oh yeah! I mentioned this in my last blog, it is our mock publication. The terrible thing is that I started this already kind of iffy about the idea I was submitting. Of course it led to confusion and needed clarification and so I felt the need to clarify. So I set about submitting 2-3 more additional posts to attempt and explain my article idea.

 What I was trying to write about you ask, what makes a great fantasy. Our mock publication was going to revolve around fantasy so wouldn’t our fake reader be interested in reading about the makings of great fantasy work, from my perspective anyway. After sometime and reviewing the idea I became frustrated with the thought, said forget it, and scratched the whole thing. Instead I’ll try to something else. I formulated a new idea.  I thought it would be a good thing to explain to up and coming writers that the emotions of a character can play a major part in the story. That was idea number two.

That proceeded to bomb equally as much. It was hard to explain to my classmate how I wanted to present the article so that the writer can understand that the characters emotions displayed properly were essential for the reader to really connect. I probably explain it better here than I did to her. I’m just blaming the whole thing on lack of sleep. Again I went on to use 2-3 additional posts to simply try and convey the right thing. I felt satisfied, momentarily.

My classmate then proceeded to e-mail each group members idea in a single message. I reviewed the other submissions and felt mines was quite inadequate when lined up and compared to the others. So with sleep finally in my system and to my satisfaction (probably my classmates chagrin) I responded to her e-mail and submitted a finale article idea: flashback. I need to practice this anyway and what better way to learn my faults in using this skill than to go through and research it in order to teach others. So there we have it. My idea finalized.

Procrastinating

So you thought blogging was easy. Sitting at the computer trying to figure out the purpose for this wonderful tool that receives such praise, and that is exactly what I am doing, sitting. Trying to determine my true purpose for this blog as Adrien Brody shoots at mountain lions while trapped in a car in a movie called Wrecked. I hope this will not be the verb that comes to describe my own blogging attempt but I do believe in my writing and I have to stand behind it because my belief was so strong at one point I cherished and prided the idea of eventually making a living on it alone. Now doubts plague my mind and as I push forward into what I hope to be the most productive year of my life those same thoughts gather around me swarming like gnats as little reminders of how much the world could care less if I fail or succeed.

In the end I really don't know what I'm doing. I can only attempt to try as hard as I can resolve to do something and that is exactly what will happen here. If I do wreck hopefully I will be able to pull myself out and find that there is still a chance to overcome. Well back to homework.

Day 2 and more to go...

So, day two of my frustration. At this time I am currently trying to figure out how to write two pieces for my mock publication in class. At the same time I am trying to launch my story blog. I am also trying to make an effort to write in this blog every day and I am behind in the reading for my literature class. Did I mention I hate my job by the way? Here is where I would insert the maniacal laughter that would follow as I feel myself being torn in all different directions and try to retain enough sanity to focus and write something. At this point I feel I just want to write but I can't seem to meet the guidelines of my classmates and writing for myself is out of the question because I have to get my school work out of the way first.

How do I provide a fantasy story that is insightful? My problem is I just don’t know what to be insightful about right now. My other writing project is dealing with love and my mindset is really focused on this idea so when I submitted my article idea it was shot down because it seemed to cliché. That is because the article had to do with love. I didn’t think it was but may the topic of love is to everyone. Choosing the world or the woman you love. What if you saved her from a number of perils only to find out that the journey you both started out on to save the world was her suicide mission and she never told you. What if the woman you loved didn’t love you and knew to save you the humiliation of the situation she chose to tell you nothing? Maybe you are the best mercenary for the job and she needs your protection and murderous hands because she needs you to kill her since she must die innocently as a sacrifice. So in the end she taunts you and in a moment of rage you kill her to save the world. Is it still a good deed?

Well, I think I just found my breakthrough...